Give Thanks December, Week 2

December 8:
     I am so thankful for a new sewing machine that helps me bust out a ton of new products, and items to sell, give as gifts, or just to try.

December 9:
     Thankful that these paper piecing patterns I made of birds, are working out perfectly and the fabric and colors are looking amazing together.

December 10:
     I am so thankful to hangout with one of my best friends and see her pregnant belly and wonderful and amazingly adorable kids. Thanks Kim for making time for us, I am so blessed to have you as a friend.

December 11:
     Thankful and amazed at what wonderful people I have in my life. One of my friends sent me a TULA and not just any tula, a toddler one in the fabric that I have been eye balling for weeks! I cried when I opened it and I can not thank her enough. THANK YOU SARAH!!!! (yes, she has the same name as me).

December 12:
     I am so thankful that I have two adorable nieces to spoil, I mean, come on, how do you not love that face?

December 13:
      I love sewing, and when friends or family members ask for my help I am so honored and thankful that they ask me. I love to show my brothers, girlfriend, Tiffany, anything and everything I can while I am here.

December 14:
     I love trying new sewing items, and thankful that my friend Erin thought of me when she needed a set of garters for a friend who is getting married soon. They turned out great.

Give Thanks,
Sarah

Breastfeeding vs Formula

Are you a mom? Have you tried to breastfeed and either had a rough time at it or had amazing success? Have you struggled and given up, or told to supplement with formula? Or did you just simply give your little one formula? If you said yes to any of those questions then your raising a child, and your doing a great job!

I am writing this post simply because now I have successfully done both! I have formula fed my first son, and now I am successfully breastfeeding my second son! I had struggles with my first child, Brian. He never latched correctly, he was never full or satisfied, and he cried all day and night! I am serious, when he ate he would eat for hours. He never wanted to stop eating and when he was done eating he would close his eyes and sleep for at most ten minutes. Then he would wake up screaming.

When I got pregnant with Brian I had this picture perfect natural birth planned out on paper and in my head. I had this entirely peaceful calming life of breastfeeding and bonding with my little baby. (At the time I did not know if I was having a girl or a boy, we waited until we delivered to find out). When I was 39 weeks pregnant with my son I started having contractions. Over night they became VERY regular and very uncomfortable, they were also ALL back contractions. Back contractions are extremely painful, and I was having only those and none in the front. We went to the hospital on Monday, I was not admitted because I was only 1cm. We went again on Tuesday, again I was not admitted because I was only 2cm. We went again on Wednesday and again I was not admitted because I was 3cm... Finally we went in on Thursday and I was of course checked and was only 4cm. This hospital was on a military base, and because it was a high impacted hospital they required you to be 5cm in order to be admitted.

39 Weeks Old

 Now, I had been there everyday for the last 4 days, and of course almost EVERY nurse, and doctor knew exactly who we were. So it was a shock when the nurse came back into my room to tell me that they were going to send me home. I looked at my husband with tears in my eyes, looked back at the nurse (and remembered what one of my friends has told me), and I simply said "if you send me home I WILL take this kid out by myself!" She said she would be back in a few minutes. She returned with some pain medicine to help me dilate. After an hour, she returned and shockingly I was 6 cm! Yes thats all I needed was some help! I then got a room and got an epidural immediately!

Ok so here I was 5 days of labor, with all back contractions and I was already veering away from my ALL natural birth plan. Guess that didn't work out. I wanted so badly to stay away from any other meds, but when I got stuck at 8cm I was placed on pitocin. Yep, yet another med. Oh well, I still could have that bonding and breastfeeding peaceful life I pictured in my head. Right?

WRONG!!! I was so wrong! When we got home, like I said before my son wouldn't latch well, he struggled to get full, and I was so depressed. A week went by and I started to have back pain, and could barely pick up my son. I had such a hard time finding those few peaceful, beautiful moments I dreamed of. My son eventually got the nickname MONSTER, and it was from all the screaming and fussing that he did. Eventually we went to his pediatrician because I wasn't getting any help from anyone and we called his pediatrician to see if something was wrong with him. In the end, our son was perfectly fine, he just wasn't gaining any weight and was still under his birth weight. So, she simply said go buy a can of formula and breast feed him, then if hes still upset offer him a bottle.

Fast forward a week and now my son was only wanting the bottle and his time feeding from me was getting shorter and shorter. I then stopped giving him the breast when we struggled to get him latched. I then pumped for a week and about the end of the week I started to dry up. I was devastated, but all of a sudden I was feeling this bonding that everyone said you wouldn't have with a bottle fed baby. I was enjoying every minute with him and my son and I were getting a long so well. He wasn't screaming after feedings, he wasn't hungry all the time, and he was sleeping long periods like a normal baby does! I was extremely excited when he started to sleep 8 hours at a time at night. He even started sleeping in his own crib in his own room around 2 months. I was a happy mommy and so was my son! He was laughing and smiling, and still to this day he is a very happy kid!

I look back at the situation and I was proud we decided to bottle feed him because the formula filled him up, which was something I couldn't offer him. I was a happier mom, I got sleep and so did my husband. In the end we were better parents because of it. I know theres people out there that will criticize me for formula feeding, but I truly am a better mom because of it. I was sleep deprived and angry when I was breastfeeding him, after formula we were both happier and calmer! Not to mention the hubby got to help out... A LOT!

Fast forward several months and now it was time for round two. I again wanted to do as natural as I could; however, I was a gestational diabetes patient, so I knew being induced was a possibility. When 39 weeks arrived and I still hadn't gone into labor, I opted to be induced. My birth story with my second son can be found over here. An overview is; I was induced and our second son was born with some pain meds, as the induction went slow in the beginning but sped up pretty fast at the end. When he was born I again imagined this calming peaceful breastfeeding and bonding life I didn't have with my first son.

When we left the hospital, I was sure this time would be different. I was determined, and I just had this aggressive emotional want to breast feed. I also had a HUGE support system built up; from a group in the area, friends online, and family members who had breastfed. I just knew I was going to do this this time around. I struggled in the beginning and I had several moments of weakness. I even broke down several times after HOURS of cluster feeding and gave him a bottle. It wasn't perfect like all the pictures and articles paint out, but we were doing it, and we were doing it together. I saw an LC and felt empowered to keep going.

A few days later when my husband was going back to work, and I was home alone with two kids by myself and getting absolutely no sleep. I remember my husband came home from work, and I cried, and cried, and cried. I finally said to him, "I am done. I can't do this. I am getting no sleep, and then I have to be up with both of our sons in the morning and I have to feed and clean and change and everything else, and it was just too much". I remember while my husband walked away I broke down so hard, just crying my eyes out. I could barely breath I was crying so hard. I had done it again. I had lost the will and was going to formula feed another child. I felt like I was letting everyone of my supporters down. I felt like everyone I had leaned on for advice and help was going to just roll their eyes at me and say behind my back how horrible of a mother I was. I went to bed that night, looking forward to my sons pediatric appointment the next morning to discuss formula options.

We got up early and went to his appointment. I was heart broken when the doctor said he was really under weight, and should not be that low at this time. Just adding fuel to the fire, and my pain of struggling to do what was "healthier" for my child. The doctor did all his exams and then looked at me and said would you want to talk to our LC here, shes really great and has had a lot of success. I jumped at the chance!

I recall sitting in her office and listening to EVERY word she said. I asked questions and I was filled with so much joy. My son ate great at that session, and I remember her saying hes eating about 2-3oz! He's doing great! I felt wonderful, and I felt so excited to go home and keep pushing through since that feeding was so perfect. When we got home the feedings went a hundred times better, but he still was fussy here and there and he was still struggling to keep the milk down.

We went back a week later (he was now 3 weeks old) and he had a weight check to make sure he was back on track or still under weight. To my shock he was now back up to his birth weight and 2 oz over! I was ecstatic! I saw the LC again and we discussed even more. This time my little guy showed her how much he spits up and she concluded thats why he was getting sooo fussy after his feedings. He was prescribed some meds to help with the spiting up and I was off to take all the knowledge she was giving me and apply it again to our feedings.

Once again, I felt this push to just keep on going. We were at a month! I had made it to a month! Thats about 2 weeks more then my first son. Today I am 5 weeks and a few days into breastfeeding. I am not sitting here saying its the best thing ever, and you should do it, as its the only thing for your child. No, thats not me. I am simply here to say, after this long I thought I would feel that bonding everyone talks about. I was wondering when the long nights of sleep would kick in, and I am still sitting here struggling to figure out why hes still spitting up, a lot.

Breast feeding is not perfect, and its not for everyone. Its really not for me, but I have such support I am just trying to keep on going as long as I can. I miss my long nights of sleep, I do NOT feel a connection with my son (yet), and I some times feel this anger towards my husband because he doesn't have to feel this pain and discomfort. I want to at least make it another month, but I am not sure if I will. I seriously don't feel like its everything everyone makes it out to be. I praise the amazing moms who do this for a year. I praise the moms who breast feed for two, three and even FOUR years! They have strength that I will NEVER have. I know I am a strong person, but I am a strong person in a very different way.

Double duty!

I plan to update everyone as I continue this journey of breastfeeding and I hope I can make it to two months, but I am proud of myself for making it one month! I am not going to lie to anyone reading this and say its an amazing feeling and a wonderful bonding period, nope, not me. It hasn't happened, and I am not sure it will, but I am glad I am not buying a ton of very expensive formula and I am glad to be helping my husband out with the bills (because of the money were saving from not having to buy formula). Each day has a new challenge and each week I try to conquer and then push to the next.

If you plan to have a natural birth or breast feed, just know that not everything is perfect. Know that having a plan is great, but that life has ups and downs and challenges along the way and that it is OK to veer away from your plan. If you do, NO one will (or at least they shouldn't) judge you and if they do they shouldn't be apart of your friend, or support group. You are a strong person for just the simple task of making a human being within your body! That alone is an amazing thing!

So I leave you with this: I have breastfed and I have formula fed. One has pros and cons and so does the other. When its your choice, always go with the one that has more pros for YOUR lifestyle, not your friends, or your families. Remind yourself each day that this is for YOUR family and no one elses. At the end of the day I want to look back at what I have done and be happy. I want to know I did everything I feel I could, up to this day. Thats all we can do as moms. So, go ahead and make that plan for an all natural birth and breastfeeding but remember that its ok to get that epidural if your in that excruciating pain, and its ok to give your baby a bottle if your just need a break and a few hours of sleep. Its not going to hurt you or your child!

Good luck and congrats to all you new moms or moms to be,
Sarah

Our Little Man is Here!

Jared has arrived! We are so excited to finally be a family of 4 and can not wait to see what our two boys grow up to be! I did want to take a second and say thank you to everyone who supported us and helped us through the entire pregnancy and also the last few days! And now, I won't keep you waiting heres my birth story of Jared!

Last week on the 19th of June, I had my 38 week appointment with my doctor. He pretty much gave me two options; when he realized in a week I had only gone one more cm (putting me at 2cm); his first option was to come back Monday and get checked, and see where I was and decide on an induce date, or two, get induced on Monday. My due date fell on a weekend (June 30), and I honestly was so miserable I could barely sleep at night. I pretty much jumped at the chance to be induced on Monday! My doctor made the phone call and our induction was set! I was going in on Monday and I was going to have this baby one way or another.

38 Weeks Pregnant

 The hubby and I spent the entire weekend walking, cleaning, and enjoying our Brian man! We really wanted to have Jared naturally, so we tried a few small things during the weekend to induce labor but nothing worked. Mango-kiwi-blueberry smoothie was delicious, but does not induce labor. I tried the spicy food by pouring packet after packet of hot sauce from Taco Bell all over my food, and that did not induce labor. We tried walking and galloping and bouncing on the ball, all without any luck of inducing labor. So, sadly, but yet excitingly Monday was here, and we were headed to the hospital at 7am!

39 Weeks Pregnant, last day being pregnant!

When we reached the hospital my nerves were at an all time high. I was so nervous about being induced, and what it would feel like, and how quick or slow it would work... I was ready, so ready; that, I did know. Once we got our room, Labor and Delivery room #4, we were set and in for the ride! I had a friend, Aida, who is also working on getting her midwife license, who was there to support me and also observe the birth of our little guy. The induction started at 10am with cervadil, which is a small applicator that is inserted behind the cervix to help it dilate and soften. I was thinking that it would start some seriously painful contractions right away, but it was totally the opposite. We sat and waited while I was monitored on the computer for awhile, then we walked, then we were monitored, then we walked... we had lunch, and when I was checked late in the afternoon I was only 3 1/2cm. I was devastated.

At the hospital getting the party started!

Just getting comfortable.

All day we had walked, we had talked, I had relaxed, I breathed, and it wasn't getting me very far. At this point I was only having front contractions which for me were super easy to handle. I eventually sat on the ball and did a lot of moving, and swaying; and thats when the back contractions started to slowly creep in. I was so frustrated at that point, because thats all I asked not to have, and here they were... When the back contractions started to get worse, I had to climb back into the bed and sit on the monitor. It was around 11:45pm that I just could not handle the pain in the bed and sitting, so I asked for something to help the pain. I received fentonal, which was awesome!

Fentonal is just a drug they slip into your IV and shortly after your feel warm and fuzzy inside. I was so loopy feeling and after a short few minutes I closed my eyes, and everyone got some rest.

6-25-2013

1AM rolled around and the contractions were back and I was in pain again. I received another round of fentonal, but this time it did NOT seem to do anything. All the nurses, and Aida warned me that the second time you get it, it probably wont work as well as the first time. The nurses let me labor for another hour with the fentonal and came back to check in on me around 2am. By 2:13am I had the nurse setting up my IV flush so I could receive an epidural. I labored for another hour with the IV flush and by 3:01am the anesthesiologist was in the room and walking me through the procedure. I had received an epidural with my first, so I knew what to expect, but for some reason this one hurt a lot more. By 3:06am the epidural was in and I was laying on my back waiting for the pain to subside.With an epidural you have to have a catheter placed so you don't go off peeing the bed.I had mine placed and I was off to sleep!

Contractions!

Once everything was a green light, I went back to sleep, with very very little pain! I slept extremely well from 3am to about 8am. The nurse came in to do the morning checks and let us know what the plan was for the morning. They had two c-sections scheduled and after the doctor was done with those then they would come back to us and get the pitocin in my IV started. We waited around for a little while and shortly after the nurse came in with my bag of pitocin. This was around 10am or so. We all hungout, had lunch, watched the contractions on the monitor as they got stronger and stronger.

Noon the doctor and nurse came in and checked to see how my progress was, which was now at 5cm. Not great but after all that pain during the night I had only progressed a few cm. I was crushed, but the doctor had a way to get things going. She decided we would pop my water and see where that took us. So, noon my water was broken, the pitocin was pushed up a little more and I was set off to enjoy the ride.

Around 12:30pm I was asking Aida and my husband to call the nurse because the contractions were so painful and I was sure my epidural ran out. When the nurse came in to check on me I begged her for more medicine to be placed in my epidural, but to do so we had to see where I was at. I was in so much pain, and I could move both legs without any help. I could feel the catheter and also the internal monitor they placed at noon. I knew this epidural was gone. I just didn't realize how painful this was about to get. The nurse checked me and I asked if I could have more pain medicine, and she said "nope, you need to push, your at 10cm!" I looked at her like she was crazy! My contractions felt like someone was placing bricks on my tailbone and pelvic bone and pushing them with all their strength outward. It hurt like hell. The doctor was called in at 12:39pm and I was told to push. I pushed, and struggled to stick with it because the pain was so extreme. I screamed a few times "I can't do this anymore," as if I was just going to get up and walk away, yeah right! I pushed for only 24 minutes, and Jared was born at 1:04pm! Yes, it only took me an hour to go from 5cm, to fully dilated, to delivering my son!

First sight!

 I was just shocked how fast that last hour went. I was out of my mind. However, it was real, he was in my arms and I was looking at this chubby cheeked boy who was so dang cute. Our Jared was born of June 25, 2013 at 1:04pm, weighing in at 8lbs even, and a short little 20 1/4in baby boy! He seemed very happy to be here in the world, and we were so happy to have him here with us. Aida, headed out shortly after I was stitched up and Jared was cleaned off! I have to say a big thank you to both my amazing husband and Aida for making me laugh, and helping me through some of the most painful moments of my life. I am so lucky to have had such support around me. I wanted to thank the nurse Espy, and my midwife who helped me through those last few moments of pain and really pushed me that extra mile.

 I can not believe he is here, even to this moment as I look at him sitting here beside me. I am a happy mother of two and I hope Brian is an awesome big brother!

Our sweet little Jared!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend,
Sarah

GD Update (36/almost 37 Weeks)

Another week down and another to go...

Here it is Week 36 and 6 days and I am so ready to have this little guy! I did want to take a moment and update you all on my GD (Gestational Diabetes) journey so far! I have to say the last 3 weeks have been even bigger challenges, and even more information! I wanted to say how it really shocked me, once I announced I had GD, how many people messaged me or commented saying they had it, and started to give me valuable information! I was frustrated a little too, because even with the good you get the bad; and  I had nasty messages from some people who were basically saying I was eating all the wrong food, and drinking the wrong drinks. Its a hard balancing act when you have a one year old, and to find that extra time to make his meals, his drinks, change him, clean him, play with him, educate him; and then make and eat all the correct food and drinks for yourself! Yeah thats a challenge.

Jared at 34 Weeks, yes thats a foot in his face!

Well, anyways... the last three weeks. Geesh, lets start where I left off last time. Last time I was talking about how I had to do a food log for the week to avoid taking the 2nd pill of my medicine. I believe that was week 33. Well, after a week, my numbers were still TOO high, and my fluid in my uterus was at a larger amount then my Dr. would have liked. After all that hard work, doing what I thought was healthy, correct, and the right way; I still had to take the 2nd pill a day. I was crushed. I was so good about not taking medicines or drinking coffee with my first, and now I am a coffee drinker (once a day, as we shouldn't have any more then that while pregnant), I am now taking 2 pills for my GD a day and I often take tylenol for bad headaches. I just feel like I am letting this little guy down some how.

34 Weeks

Now with my heart broken because I need to take the medicine twice a day, I had to tell my husband the news too. It was so hard to look him in the eyes and say "My body isn't doing what it needs to do, so I am failing for our son, now I have to take the medicine twice a day and on top of that the fluid I have is too much and could harm our childs health". Yeah, not exactly what every Dad wants to hear. Its hard to be this Mom who is giving life to a baby, and your body just wont work correctly. Its like your doing everything you can, but its failing you in so many ways. Its a daily internal struggle that I think only a GD mom would understand. This is my childs health, my growing baby, the baby I want to have naturally (that might not happen), the baby I want to hold in my arms right after birth (that might not happen), and so many other things.

35 Weeks Pregnant

Yes, its true. I was told that because my fluid was at a large amount I might have to be induced if my son was measuring large. Especially, if I wanted to have a vaginal birth and NOT a c-section. Trust me after several surgeries I am all for vaginal, no c-section if I can avoid it at all costs. Well, thats not even the worst news, I was told at my 34 week appointment that the 36 week appointment will be a very important one and that my husband should tag along. I was going to have an ultrasound that would measure the baby, measure the fluid in my belly and check on everything going on. This was a huge appointment because it could mean if Jared was measuring too big, the Dr. would want to do an amniocenteses test and check the lungs to see if he could be induced. Yes if he is too big, and ready to come out, then his lungs needed to be checked for their ability to function on the outside world, then if needed steroids and then induction. WHAT? This little man could be here in 2-3 weeks if this is true... um now I am scared! I went home from my 34 week appointment with my head in my hands, confused, exhausted and sick to my stomach.

35 Weeks and some days!

35 Weeks was not even a big deal. Too much fluid, sugar levels suck, but keep working on it. I also had blood work done which is a normal thing. I went home, and began my weekend as normal. I woke up the following Saturday after my 35 week appointment and felt miserable. I felt like a truck had hit me; my head hurt, I had a head cold and felt like I could sleep all day. I was dizzy when I stood, my eyes hurt with the light, and all I wanted to do was lay down or sleep. Thankfully, my husband stepped in and took over watching Brian most of the day and also cleaned the house as much as he could. I love when he does that! I ended up in bed most of the weekend, blowing my nose 24-7, and taking as little amount of tylenol as I could stand... Monday came, and I had a missed call on my phone, as I was putting my son down for a nap. I called the number back, informed them they had called, and sure enough my blood work had come back with an extreme low number of platelet counts. With my first pregnancy I had this as well. Now this time my platelet count was down to 113 thousand. Not too low, but low enough to be of concern. I simply was going to repeat the blood drawing/blood test at my next appointment and see how that looked. This low of a count would explain the extreme fatigue, the dizziness and the headaches. It all was making sense now.

Jared at 35 Weeks and some days!

36 Week appointment had arrived... Oh my goodness, I was a nervous wreck. I just needed to know what was going on and I just wanted to know now. The past week I had been having more and more Braxton Hicks, back and hip pain, as well as feeling just blah or ucky. To me, those were my signs of possible labor around the corner. Well, after the long ultrasound, and the long wait in the waiting room and doctors room I finally had a doctor in front of me. Here it was, the moment I had been waiting for for two weeks. This information was the most important information I was going to hear and it would be the information that would either give us a day when Jared was going to be here or give us the positive news that we could still have him naturally.

Jared at 36 weeks and some days!

The doctor started with my platelet count and how I now have gestational thrombocytopenia. Its a fancy word for you have a low platelet count during pregnancy! Tell me something new... I was okay with this information as I had it with my first and just took iron to help make myself feel better. However, I wasn't going to be giving iron that day, I first had to repeat the blood work. Thats frustrating, another week of feeling like a slug, bummer. Then the news, the real news. Jared was measuring at 7 pounds, and that was just in the range of a NORMAL baby size at that stage! Oh yes, thank goodness. Jared is not measuring large, he is right on track. I still have a large amount of fluid, but because Jared is looking healthy the amniocenteses test is out, which means steroids is out, and so is; yes, the induction!!!! I could go home, and attempt to get this labor started, and do this all the normal, old fashion, and healthy way! I was on cloud 9!!! My husband and I then got my blood work done again, set up our next week appointment and headed out the door with smiles on our faces!

The end result was exactly what we could hope for. Even though my belly is full of fluid, my son is healthy, measuring normal and not too big, and we could attempt to have him normal like any other pregnancy! Now its time to walk, bounce on my ball, and do my squats! Baby Jared is good to go, so now I am too! Lets do this!

The past few days all we have done is walk, walk, walk. I have been sitting on my ball as much as I can and doing my squats as daily as I can remember to do them! I really hope to see Jared with in the next week or two. Hopefully no longer then that. I honestly am not sure how much more fluid I can carry around, as my back and hips are killing me, but I am totally happy with it because it just means more pressure and hopefully my water will break this time!

Its the, almost, end of my story, and we are on a high note... lets hope we end this pregnancy with a happy blast of positivity! Come on Jared, were all waiting!

Happy Friday,
Sarah
(P.S. My birthday is tomorrow!!! Just more exciting news!)

Pregnancy Post!!! My Gestational Diabetes (not so fun) Adventure!

Here I am sitting in my bed relaxing and thinking about my day. I spent about 2 hours at the Dr.'s office for a bunch of tests. What for you ask? Well, I have Gestation Diabetes (GD)! Let me give you a little background so you all can catch up!

When you are pregnant, at around 24 weeks you have to take whats called a glucose test. Its super easy; show up, drink a very sugary drink, wait an hour and get your blood drawn. When I did the test with my first child it tasted like orange sunkist on crack, and this time i got fruit punch on crack! I did what all the woman do, drank my drink, and got my blood drawn. I then proceeded to wait for the phone call from my Dr., but I never received one. So, I simply said to myself "I passed". However, something bothered me about it and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Oh well, move on, and thats what I did.

I went back 4 weeks later at 28 weeks and had a great appointment, and wasn't even told anything about my glucose test (again, I thought I passed). I met again at 30 weeks, and thats where the beans finally were spilled. I had GD! I was shocked when the Dr. came into my room and said "So, somehow you slipped through the cracks and you were not informed that you have GD. Well, now that we have caught it, you are now being told you have it." My eyes teared up, my face got hot, my body wanted to run, but my brain told me to sit there, and listen. I asked what happened, and she just simply replied that "I somehow was not caught, that someone forgot to call me, and that SOMEHOW at my last appointment even the Dr. didn't catch it."

30 Weeks Pregnant, now with GD

I calmed myself down as I knew there was a lot of information and questions about to go back and forth between the Dr. and I. I spent what felt like an hour in the room talking to her about; checking my blood glucose/sugar levels, about what to eat, when to eat, when to check my numbers, what were good, what were bad, and how to stay active and stay healthy. I was overwhelmed with anxiety, anger, frustration, confusion, sadness, and so many other emotions all at once. I set up my weekly appointment and proceeded to head home. I cried the entire way home.

I can remember saying "why me?", "they tell me now, after I dug a 6 week hole", "what do I have to change?" I was by far a tiny fish in a huge ocean of new information and challenges. I did not have GD with my first (although, I look back and wonder if I did). I just had to suck it up, and fight this fight. Like all moms, we adjust, learn, and eventually succeed!

The past 3 weeks my life has changed some, and hasn't changed in other areas. I try to walk as much as I can, even if it means to the mailbox and back! I try to stay away from sodas, as much as I crave those coke icees. I try to snack on 6 small meals, and not 3 large ones, but with a one year old that can be a challenge. I measure my blood sugar 5 times a day (which is just a prick of the finger). I recall the first time I did that test, and how I used 3 different test strips, just to get a reading! I even read the instructions, with little help! I eventually figured it out and now I am like an old pro at it.

My kit to test my blood sugar levels!

The Dr. appointments are now weekly instead of biweekly as they would be if I wasn't GD. I get an ultrasound to measure the baby and placenta once a month. I get an ultrasound the rest of the month to measure the fluid inside my uterus to make sure I don't have too much or too little. As both can be bad for the little one! I get a stress test, which is basically you are hooked up to a monitor thats connected to two straps that go around your giant belly, and it tracks the movement and heart beat. You simply push a button every time you feel the baby move, and then the information is reviewed by the doctor. Movement is great, the babies heart beat shouldn't drop or rise drastically, and the baby shouldn't stop moving for LONG periods of time. I do a stress test, as far as I can tell, every week now!

This past week, at my 32 week appointment I was told I needed medicine to help get my sugar levels under control. I was devastated. However, like all patience I take the medicine and hope for the best. I started the medicine, and by the first afternoon I was shaking, confused, sweating, faint feeling, and weak in the knees. I asked a friend what to do and she said eat something. Sure enough, after some peanut butter toast I felt normal again. The second day I took it, even though I was so scared to, I did anyways, and had an even worse spell. I had something to eat, but it seemed to take longer to get back to normal. Then I called the on call nurse and asked her what to do, she said give it another day. I tried, and it all happened again. I skipped the 4th day as I just couldn't handle it anymore. I then waited until the 5th day when my husband was home all day and could help me watch our son. This way I could watch what I was doing, and track my levels even better. I did great, no shaking, no weakness. The only symptom I had was slight dizziness. By my appointment (33 weeks) I felt decent on my medicine. I am not going to say I woke up jumping for joy to take the medicine, but I could manage myself during the day now. When I saw the Dr. for my 33 week appointment, she said the words I didn't want to hear. "I think you need to take the medicine twice a day!"

Oh no, this wasn't happening again was it. I can't go through even more ups and downs like I am some crack addict. I just couldn't. My husband has been against me taking the medicine from day one, so I simply said, "please, is there anything else we can do?" I just really didn't want the second round of medicine. She suggested a food log. Okay, I could attempt that. A food log with my testing, and once a day medicine. I can try this. At most, I do this for a week and she will let me know if I can continue with one pill or if I need to go to two. I will start my food logging tomorrow, and I will have to hold myself accountable for everything now! Lots of walking, lots of water, and lots of protein balanced with fruits and veggies.

So, thats my GD story so far. Ill be sure to keep you all up to date as I go along these next few weeks. I just hope I don't have to take any more medicine!

Ill keep you updated weekly if possible. I hope my story can help those that are dealing with this or just newly GD patience! Chin up, we all can survive this and do amazing things!

Stay Strong,
Sarah

Another New Adventure

You might be thinking that our new adventure is becoming parents of two boys, but in this case your wrong! New Mexico, Cannon AFB has been a VERY different experience from living in Okinawa, Japan at Kadena AB, to say the least. The lifestyle, the housing, the "friends", the co-workers, the neighbors and even the stores/purchases are all very different. I was excited, after four years of living in Japan, to finally be moving closer to home and family. New Mexico, how bad could it be? Not horrible right, I mean California was 16-18 hours away! We could plan a trip home every year, family could come see us, etc.

Our home in NM, July 2013

Well, we arrived in New Mexico in July 2012. Not too long ago I know. As we settled in and started to get use to NM, we planned a trip home to California, for our sons first Christmas (so we could be with family). We also were announcing our second baby, on the way, while we were out there. It was a big, exciting trip! When we came back to NM, we were sad to be back, away from our family, but also because the weather was freezing cold, the dirt and dry air were torture on myself and my son! My son got extremely sick, and started coughing a lot. After many weeks of dealing with myself and my son being sick, we decided a trip back to California for our sons 1st Birthday was in order!!

My mother, myself, and my son at Knob Hill, in San Marcos, California.

My son opening gifts!

Day 3 of opening presents!

Leaving California, and clicking family photos!

For the two months between Christmas and our sons 1st birthday I worked like crazy, to get everything ready for the little guys big day! I sewed daily, made packing lists, cleaned, and found someone to watch our cats! It was on, we were heading back to California, again! Another 16-18 hours in the car, but this time I was close to almost 20 weeks pregnant! The trip wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, as I knew I was going to struggle driving and what not, but we made it back. California, family, baking, setting up for the party, Brian turning 1, a Disneyland trip, and then back to NM. It was a quick two weeks, but worth every second. Also, while back in California, our son was so healthy, and so was I. My husband however, not so much! He toughed through it though, so that we all could enjoy our time!

The dessert table! I made the cake,the cupcakes, and the banner! (That will all be in another blog post!)

The Birthday boys 1st birthday cake and a few cupcakes! Our theme was monsters!!

Getting ready for the cake! I made the bib and the crown (again another blog post!)

Digging into his cake! YUM!

Our 3 day trip to Disneyland and California Adventure!

March, April and now May! Yep its been a crazy (almost) year here. I am now 33 weeks pregnant, expecting our second son any week now! We just got an email a few weeks ago, it simply said "check your military email, as you have an assignment waiting".... wait, what? Did that email just say what I thought it said? YEP! It said we had an assignment and we could either accept them or not. My husband and I jumped out of our chairs, ran to our desktop, where he logged onto his military account and we checked the information! There it was, in all its glory...

BEALE AFB, CALIFORNIA!!!!

The actual email, with the assignment!

Oh My Gosh! It says California! No freakin way. We just got one of our Base Of Preferences (BOP)! Now I should mention after our first trip home my husband was trying everything he could to get us orders out of NM, because of how sick, drained, and well everything else we didn't like about NM. My husband tried to cross train with no luck, he applied for every overseas job opening available to his job, and he applied for BOP! We were shocked our BOP got approved! We are over the moon excited to begin our new journey in California, and plan to have family and friends visiting often!

My husbands enlistment was ending this December in 2013, and because of that part of the assignment agreement was that he had to re-enlist! So, he re-enlisted, and we are staying in this crazy, exciting military life for another five years! I can not believe it! Our next journey, our next adventure is back to California! Oh how exciting.

Now that its May, and our bundle of joy, Jared (hopefully) will be here sometime in June, that only gives us July and August after Jared man is here, to pack up and head west! We have to be in Beale not a day before September 1st, and not a day later then September 30! We are excited to take some time off too and head out to see family and show off little Jared man! I can not wait to see what Beale will hold for us!

Photo taken around 32 weeks, by my wonderful husband!

So, thats our exciting news, and I can't wait to close this chapter of our lives, and move to our next! Ill do my best to keep up with my blog, and post pictures as we travel and move, so be sure to come back and stay connected!

Everyday is an adventure,
Sarah